Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
