this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Boobs speak an international language.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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