I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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