so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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