when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
