Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
