Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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