I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
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I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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