I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You have to summon your inner elephant
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
