And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize