i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
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I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
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I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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