Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
