I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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