She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
