stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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