why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
