Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
