The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
