I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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