I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
