Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
