Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
