Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
