Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
