He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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