My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
They have beer where we have blood.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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