I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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