So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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