last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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