Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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