you win again, gameday.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
