He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
