NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
