That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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