just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
