3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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