No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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