It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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