Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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