I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
