If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
