Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
