Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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