We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
