yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
ttyl tear gas
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
