I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
