I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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