Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
