i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
