she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have already put on my inside pants.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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