I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
