Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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