he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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