i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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