Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
