Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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