My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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