Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
