Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
