She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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