We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
