Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
