sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize