The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
