I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
