Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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