Little spoons don't ask big questions
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
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It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
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Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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