the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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