marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
did you get engaged???
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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