there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
