Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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