the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
