Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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