someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
