also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
