its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize